Forever
by tiramisuspice
Summary: I love you, Lucas. Forever.


**This was originally supposed to be in Love And War, but it got _way_ too long, so I decided to publish it separately.  
**

 **This was requested by an adorable Guest who reviewed on the wrong story twice! :3 You're so cute! XD I already had this story pending a while ago, but you pushed me to finish it up with your request. So here you go! Lucas coming home from war. Thanks for the request, love.  
**

 **I did SO much damn research for this! Took me forever to write it!**

 **Warning. This was _very_ hard to write and I recommend you read with caution because I didn't hold back.  
**

 **Rated T for True Love.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own GMW.**

* * *

"Maya where do you want me to put this?" Riley asked, lugging a huge box through the kitchen.

"Could you put it in the baby's room please?" Maya called out, rummaging in the cabinet for any packs of cookies. She really wanted some cookies.

Riley sighed, "Can't you just wait until Lucas gets back to move all these packages? I can barely carry them!"

Maya rested her hand on her swollen abdomen. "Nope. When he comes back, I want him to see that I've been capable of taking care of myself all this time."

Riley giggled softly, "Which is a total lie because you wouldn't have even been getting in the right nutrients and fluids if it hadn't been for me. All you would have been eating are cookies night after night."

"Guilty as charged." Maya laughed as Riley playfully stuck out her tongue and walked towards the back to put the box of baby goods into the apartment room.

The stuff Maya had ordered had finally arrived. She planned to transform her old art room into a baby room—walls painted and decorated, crib set, rocking chair, book shelves, changing station, the works—with the help of Riley of course. Which basically meant Riley was going to do all the work. She had about a week to get the room ready to surprise Lucas. He was finally coming home for good. It'd been six years of quiet nights, countless emails, tear-filled teleconferences, and lonely evenings having to imagine him next to her while she took care of herself, but they'd made it to this point.

She was getting her love back.

For good this time.

And he would be there for the birth of their son in about ten weeks. She rested her hand on her abdomen, gently rubbing it.

"You're getting your daddy back." She crooned softly to the light kicking.

Lucas was coming back, and she was so excited.

They'd finally be able to raise their family together…

There was a brisk, loud knock on the door, and Maya looked up at it, roused out of her momentary trance.

"Maya?" Riley called out from the back room of the apartment, "Who's at the door?"

"Probably the postal service with more packages." She responded. "I'll get it."

Maya grabbed a cookie, taking a bite out of it as she waddled over to the door. She unlatched the hook and untwisted the lock before pulling it open.

There were three men standing there in official Army service uniforms, bills of their caps casting ominous shadows on their faces. Their eyes were solemn; their expressions somber. She frowned in confusion for a moment.

And something in her mind clicked.

 _No_.

"Mrs. Maya Hart?" The man in the middle spoke.

His tone was even and contained an undertone of remorse that Maya recognized all too well.

And she knew her heart had stopped beating.

The cookie fell out of her hand, dropping to the ground and scattering crumbs everywhere. She slowly shook her head, backing away from the door.

 _No!_

"S-stop…" she croaked, her eyes wide.

"Mrs. Hart." He continued. "May we come—"

" _No!_ I said stop!" Maya shouted, shaking her head rapidly now, backing away further from the door.

"Maya what's going on?!"

Riley ran out from the back to where Maya was standing, coming up to her and pulling her close to her. She stared at the men at the door with confused eyes for a second before realization dawned, and her eyes widened, appalled.

"Oh my God…" Riley said, voice barely over a whisper, her hand rising to her mouth in shock. "Please no…"

"May we come in, Miss?" the man requested politely.

Riley nodded, pulling Maya to the couch and sitting her down next to her. One man sat across from the two of them, ramrod straight, shoulders and back stiff. The other two flanked him on both sides, standing straight and gazes trained on the opposite wall.

Maya stared at them, breathing harshening by the second.

"Mrs. Hart." He started. "I regret to inform you that your husband has been reported—"

" _STOP_!" Maya screamed, breaking Riley's hold on her shoulders and shooting up to her feet. "I don't want to hear it!"

He briefly paused, looking only the slightest bit put off by her outburst. "Mrs. Hart."

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

"Your husband has been reported dead on flight back to Fort Hamilton in New York City, New York in the United States of America at 0934 on this day March 23, 2011. His squad was ambushed while on reconnaissance in Afghanistan and he was gunned down aiding in his colleagues' escape. His body was recovered and taken immediately for emergency medical attention. He was transferred from base in Afghanistan to Italy and then to the United Kingdom. When his condition worsened, he was on route for transfer to New York."

"Can't you be more gentle about it?!" Riley shouted. "She's pregnant for goodness sakes!"

But Maya barely heard her words. She barely heard his. The only thing she could hear was her heartbeat hammering in her ears. The only thing she could feel was the ice cold chill running down her back, her body numb, everything suddenly feeling like it was freezing. Her hands started shaking violently.

"No…" she choked, shaking her head in disbelief. "No, no, no, no, no! Not Lucas!"

"Mrs. Hart."

"NO!"

"On behalf of the Secretary of Defense, I extend to you and your family my deepest sympathy in your great loss. I'm sorry."

He was speaking.

Maya could see his lips moving, but she couldn't hear a thing he was saying. All she could hear was the ringing in her ears, growing louder by the second and becoming a blaring siren in her head. It filled her entire head and ran through her body like sharp, brutal electricity and with a lurch, gripping the couch, she vomited on the ground, her stomach emptying itself violently. She stared at the bile on the floor, her body wracked with tremors as she took in slow, raspy breaths, her vision blurring. She watched one of the men lunge rapidly forward in surprise as she felt her body tip over.

 _Lucas… no…_

"Maya?! _MAYA_!"

Her vision went black.

* * *

 _"Why do you have so much stamina?" Maya laughed as Lucas trailed languid kisses down her neck, the heat from his body sending sparks of renewed pleasure straight through her body. "Aren't you tired?"_

 _"Of you? Never." He grinned up at her, his sea-foam eyes twinkling in mirth._

 _"No!" she laughed, pushing on his chest, "Of sex! We've been here forever. We were supposed to meet your mom for dinner an hour ago!"_

 _Lucas rolled off of her and laid on his side, resting his head on his fist as he gazed at her through slightly half-lidded eyes. His other hand curled around her lower back, and he pulled her closer to him so she was snuggled up against him._

 _"Maya, I'll never get tired of making love to you." He said warmly, a smile on his face as he watched her._

 _Her cheeks erupted in colour, and she averted her gaze down. Her eyes were drawn to the tattoo on his chest. Her name, right above the spot where his heart was, and her hand went up to it, tracing it lightly. She didn't know when he'd gotten it done, but it was enough to make her want to cry. Twelve months away for only a two week reunion was hard to handle._

 _"How much longer do I have you for?" She asked quietly._

 _He took her hand, bringing it up to his lips and pressing soft kisses to her fingertips. "Two days about."_

 _She nodded a little melancholically and shifted closer to him, the warmth from his body more comfortable than the blanket they were under._

 _"Maya."_

 _"I know. I'm fine." She said, "It's just hard every time you have to go."_

 _"Hey." He tilted her chin up so she was looking at him. "In seven more months I'll be home to you officially."_

 _"Hmmm…"_

 _She leaned forward and kissed him softly, breathing him in. It was moments like this that she really cherished what she had with Lucas._

 _She'd missed him._

 _She broke away with a small smile. "So I went to the hospital yesterday. Took a blood test."_

 _His eyebrows lifted in alarm. "You okay?"_

 _"More than okay." She leaned into his hand as he tucked some hair behind her ear. "I'm pregnant. Surprise."_

 _Lucas' eyes widened._

 _"You're pregnant?"_

 _"Yeah." She confirmed. "All of your efforts the past week since you got back have paid off."_

 _Lucas laughed breathlessly and wrapped his arms immediately around her, kissing her hard and happily until tears she didn't even realize had come to her eyes were trailing down her cheeks._

 _"How far along?!"_

 _"About a week."_

 _He laughed again, crushing her in his arms in happiness._

 _"We're having a baby!"_

 _"I know…"_

 _Lucas' happiness was infectious, and Maya couldn't help but laugh through her tears along with him. She loved him. She loved him so much it hurt. And it sucked that he was going to be gone the bulk of her pregnancy, but it mattered to her so much that he loved her. That he wanted to raise a family with her._

 _"We should celebrate!"_

 _"With what?"_

 _And then Lucas rolled them over so she was under him, waggling his eyebrows suggestively. She rolled her eyes in exasperation, but said nothing, gazing up at him, just taking in the contours of his face. His eyes, his mouth, his nose, his smile. Everything about him._

 _She sniffled._

 _"I love you. More than the world itself."_

 _His gaze softened, his smile loving and warm. "I love you too."_

 _"Forever?"_

 _He laced the fingers of one hand with hers, leaning down and pressing a soft, tender kiss to her lips._

 _"Forever."_

* * *

She could hear it everywhere.

The cries of those who were aggrieved.

The cries of Lucas' mother beside her.

The cries of Lucas' friends behind her.

She stared blankly as the procession went on by.

The coffin draped in an American flag.

The men in uniform marching solemnly.

The beating of the drum resounding through the air.

She stared blankly as salutes were chanted.

Stared blankly as a gunshot was fired.

As the flag was folded.

As Lilith Friar collapsed onto her chair, agonized wails leaving her mouth when she was presented the flag.

As a bugle was played.

But as the casket was lowered into the ground, Maya turned and walked away without a word.

She could hear Riley rushing to her behind her, but said nothing.

She walked and walked and walked, not daring to look back once.

* * *

 _"Found a new job today." Maya said. "I'm teaching art classes, all ranks, at the community center. It's not much, but I finally have my dream job."_

 _"I'm happy for you."_

 _The image on the screen straggled a bit, and Maya waited for it to settle once again. Lucas sat back in his chair, leaning back, his hands behind his head._

 _"When you're happy, I'm happy." He continued, once the lagging had stopped a bit._

 _"Enough with the mushiness." Maya rolled her eyes, though she couldn't help the smile on her face. "Anyway, how did you sleep last night?"_

 _"Decent." He grinned. "Dreamt of you."_

 _"Oh yeah?" She quirked a brow. "What about me?"_

 _"Your hair flying wild and free when you're dancing in the kitchen. Your beautiful eyes lighting up like fireworks when you're happy. What you look like when you wake up, your face all puffy, eyelids unable to open and eyelashes stuck to your cheeks because you didn't take off your makeup—"_

 _"Lucas!"_

 _"—that sexy smile you give me when you're turned on. The way you take control, pushing me against walls and onto chairs or onto our bed. The sounds you make when I make love to you." His voice dropped. "Those breathy moans and soft sighs. The way you bite your lower lip when you can't take it anymore."_

 _She rubbed her thighs together, tingles rising between her legs._

 _"That's not fair…" Maya groaned, closing her eyes temporarily. "You can't say things like that when you're across the globe."_

 _He chuckled. "Maya, I've been thinking."_

 _"Yeah?"_

 _"I want to start a family."_

 _Her eyes widened slightly, her cheeks going rosy. "What?"_

 _"Yeah. I want kids with you."_

 _She stared at him on the screen, still a little shocked by his sudden declaration. He'd brought it up in the past before, cracking some jokes about her having to run around catching a bunch of terrifying Maya clones. Or having a mini troop of their own, but it'd always been laughed off. Lucas looked pretty serious now though. He was watching her patiently, waiting for her response._

 _It wasn't really that she never thought about having kids. It'd crossed her mind a couple times, only to be shut down because of her fears. But she supposed it would make her happy too. She wanted a family with him too. She loved him. And she wanted to make him happy._

 _"Okay."_

 _"I'll be back in five weeks." He smiled with a wink. "Do you want to get to work then?"_

 _Maya blushed. "Wait, you want kids so soon? Are you sure?"_

 _"Maya, I've never been so sure in my entire life. We don't know how much time I might have. I don't want to miss the opportunity."_

 _"Alright."_

 _He cracked a smirk. "Good. Because when I get home, we're locking ourselves in the bedroom, and we won't come out until I know we've exhausted every one of our reserves. I'm impregnating you if it's the last thing I do."_

 _She was sure she was blushing to her roots. "You're being a pervert, Lucas."_

 _He laughed, his smile lighting up his face, and Maya's heart lurched. She wanted him here with her. She wanted him next to her._

 _"Maya, are you crying?"_

 _She sniffled, wiping her eyes. "No."_

 _His gaze grew concerned. "Baby, what's wrong?"_

 _"Nothing." She smiled. "I just love you so much."_

 _He smiled back. "I love you too Maya."_

 _She lifted her hand and placed it flat against the screen, her wedding band clinking against it lightly._

 _"Forever?"_

 _He lifted his hand and set it against hers._

 _"Forever."_

* * *

"She's on autopilot. She doesn't talk, she doesn't sleep, she barely responds to me. She's been curled up on the couch in that blanket for three days now." Riley said to Lilith, both standing near the kitchen, watching Maya. "I'm not even sure she's eating. I try to feed her sometimes, but she doesn't eat anything. I don't know what to do! This can't be healthy for the baby or for her."

Maya could hear them talking, but she said nothing.

Everything was a blur.

She vaguely remembered trying to walk down some steps and being brought forcibly back. She remembered popping open a bottle of vodka, but that was removed from her hands before she could take a sip. But other than that, her memory was a blur. She wasn't even sure what day it was anymore. Days drifted into nights drifted into days and everything felt like one big, neverending circle of a blur.

"She doesn't go into her bedroom anymore. She hasn't said a word in a while. She hasn't cried at all…" Riley said, her voice wavering, "Lilith, help me please. I'm worried about her."

"Go to work Riley. I'll keep an eye on her, okay?"

"Thank you."

The door opened and then closed.

Maya heard footsteps approach, saw jean-clad legs walk across the front of the couch before settling beside her, the weight of her body causing a slight dip in the couch.

Sniffling quietly to herself, Lilith rubbed Maya's back soothingly, crying softly over the loss of her son.

And Maya stared blankly at the wall.

* * *

 _She was Mrs. now._

 _Mrs. Lucas Friar._

 _Maya laid her head against Lucas' chest, closing her eyes and breathing in his warm, soothing scent as he rocked her back and forth, her poofy white dress swaying with each of their motions._

 _They were in their own little world, oblivious to any of the other couples dancing beside them on the floor._

 _It was just her, Lucas, and the ballad that was playing in the background._

 _She could hear his heartbeat, strong and steady, and giving her strength. She glanced at their entwined hands, the gold of her wedding band glinting from the dimmed lights above their heads._

 _This was a perfect moment._

 _And she was so happy. So so happy._

 _She never wanted the moment to end._

 _She looked up at the face of the man she'd fallen so desperately, irrevocably, and deeply,_ deeply _in love with. Maya had lost a lot in her life in her youth. Her father, her mother, her home. She'd learned to grow from that. She'd made peace with it and moved on. But she didn't know how she would ever be able to let Lucas go._

 _How she would ever be able to live without him._

 _"I love you…" Maya whispered, knowing tears were falling down her cheeks._

 _Lucas smiled down at her, his gaze making her heart beat in that crazy way that it only did when he looked at her._

 _"I love you too." he said softly. "More than life itself."_

 _"Forever?"_

 _He leaned down and gave her sweet kiss, one with a promise of everlasting love. One that conveyed to her that he had meant what he said in his vows. That they would grow old together. Be together forever because he loved her more than anything else in the world. And she knew he would keep his promise._

 _"Forever."_

* * *

"Maya?!"

She heard Riley's frantic voice as she rushed over to her. She ran past the broken glass and the destroyed vases and shattered TV screen.

"Maya, what happened?" Riley looked scared.

Maya turned her head to Riley, her face blank, no expression on her face as she sat slumped on the living room floor amongst a pile of papers. Paper cuts aligned her arms and fingers and she was aware there was probably some glass stuck somewhere in her fingers, but she didn't register the pain. She didn't feel any pain.

Everything was numb.

"Maya, what are you doing?"

"…Draw." Maya said, her voice hoarse and barely audible above the roar of the air conditioning. She stared down at the unfinished drawings on the ground. "I tried to…"

Riley's gaze grew concerned, and she stooped, picking up the papers and looking at them. Different parts of Lucas' face all drawn out. None of them complete. Some of them not quite right. The only consistent thing was the sea-foam green of his eyes. Riley's eyes watered as she stared at the unfinished drawings, and she set them back down, sniffling to herself.

"Maya…"

"I tried to draw him…"

"Oh Maya."

"I can't draw his face anymore… I can't… I can't…"

Maya stared at the drawings blankly, blinking slowly. Riley came up behind her and helped pull her up to her feet slowly.

"Maya, you're staying at my place from now on, okay?" Tears were falling down Riley's eyes. "So I can take care of you. So I can watch over you."

Maya said nothing as Riley tugged her out of the apartment.

Her eyes were only on the unfinished drawings. What she had so desperately wanted to do. What she no longer could do.

 _I can't see his face._

* * *

 _Maya finished toweling herself dry, tossing the dampened fluffy towel onto her desk's chair before slowly rubbing lotion onto her skin. She sighed and ran a hand through her wet hair, a little exhausted after the day's events. They'd finally finished the deadline for the game. Finally, no more all-nighters and never-ending coffee and Gucci and Prada bags under her eyelids._

 _It was tiring work as a primary animator. And the worst part was she didn't even enjoy it. Sure, drawing cartoon characters and scenery for low budget video games was fun and all, but she wanted to be painting and sketching her own works. She wanted to be teaching art. But it was slim pickings for an art major. And even slimmer pickings for an art major who didn't have a Master's._ And _even slimmer pickings for an art major who hadn't particularly graduated from college with stellar scores._

 _And above all that, she didn't have Lucas with her._

 _She hadn't spoken to him in quite a while, since she'd been so busy with the 'Deadline Scramble'. She knew she had a shit ton of emails from him to respond back to and some letters she still had to send him, but by that point, her schedule had been wake up, grab a coffee, go to work, work her ass off, come back in the wee hours of the morning, get maybe two or three hours of restless sleep before starting it all over again._

 _She hated not being able to communicate with him regularly. All this time she was missing to talk to him was slowly weighing on her mind, making her feel more uneasy._

 _What if, while she didn't have time for him, what if he…_

 _She shook her head rapidly, forcing her mind to think of something else. She couldn't have thoughts like those. They would wreck her._

 _She opened their dresser and pulled out one of his t-shirts, slipping it on for bed. It was definitely much larger than her and hung down to her thighs, but it carried his scent and it was comfortable and right now, in her vulnerable state, she needed comfort._

 _This was the first time she'd had a night to herself in a while._

 _She stared longingly at her bed, wishing he could be there with her._

 _"Looks like it's just you and me again, Mr. Hot Dog." Maya sighed, pulling open her nightstand drawer and peering at her vibrator._

 _And then she heard it._

 _It was the sound of something heavy dropping to the ground in the living room. She stiffened and frowned, quieting and listening out for any other noise. Their apartment complex wasn't all that prone to burglaries, but that didn't mean they didn't happen. Was she about to get robbed?_

 _She closed her drawer and snatched up Lucas' baseball bat from the corner of the room, holding it up steadily before walking out of their bedroom, creeping slowly down the hallway towards the lights in the living room. The idiot burglar had turned the lights on?_

 _…Unless it wasn't a burglar._

 _Maya's eyes widened. She walked briskly into the living room, her heart pounding in her chest and sure enough, standing near the door in his army fatigues, running a hand tiredly through his hair was Lucas._

 _"Lucas?"_

 _He glanced at her and smiled widely. "Hey."_

 _Without another word, Maya tossed the baseball bat and ran straight to him, hopping into his waiting arms and wrapping her legs around his waist as he caught her. She pulled his face into a sloppy, somewhat frenzied kiss, laughing happily through her tears and pressing her lips everywhere on his face. Lucas held her tight, breathing in deeply, his arms clasped around her like he was confirming to himself that she was truly there in his arms. Maya sniffled, tracing his face with her thumb. The stubble on his face was scratchy and rough, but she didn't care. He was here: alive and real and in person._

 _"You told me you wouldn't be back for another month."_

 _"Yeah. I lied." He said with a boyish grin._

 _"You asshole!" She punched his shoulder. But she didn't care. Not really. Not when he was in front of her in person, alive and well, and she could finally touch him. "Why would you do that?"_

 _"I wanted to surprise you."_

 _"Stupid…"_

 _She wrapped her arms around his neck, dropping her face onto his shoulder as she sobbed happily._

 _"I missed you." He mumbled into the crook of her neck. "God I missed you so much."_

 _She sniffled into his shoulder, still so incredibly happy that he was back, that she could feel his heart beat and his strong, comforting arms around her. She'd been so scared the past twelve months. So worried and so unbelievably frightened that she'd never see him again._

 _They'd been apart for so long and this was the first time she'd ever felt the intensity of their distance. She never wanted to let him go._

 _"Maya." he said after a while of them just rocking back and forth, Maya clinging to him like some sort of koala._

 _She hummed into his shoulder, not intending to move at all. She still couldn't get over the fact that he was here. He chuckled._

 _"Maya, let's go out for a bit."_

 _She pulled slightly away with a frown. "You just got back. I'd rather spend time in my bed with you."_

 _Lucas laughed and set her gently on the ground, though he still didn't remove his arms from around the small of her back._

 _"We will. I promise. I just want to take a walk for a second."_

 _"I'm in my pajamas!" she protested when he took her hand and started tugging her out of the apartment. "My hair isn't even dry yet. And I'm not wearing any pants Lucas."_

 _"I noticed." He chuckled, still guiding her out of the door._

 _"I'm wearing bunny slippers!"_

 _"It's just for a second."_

 _She sighed, but relented, walking with him as they left her apartment. He led her out of the complex and through the streets, and Maya tried not to let her blush overtake her face when people out at night stared at the strange spectacle. She probably looked ridiculous!_

 _He led her to the park nearby and through a pathway to the place near the little bridge where he'd first asked her to be his girlfriend a couple years ago._

 _And then she froze._

 _There were bouquets of roses set up all over the place, that same violinist from years before playing a sweet love song in the area near the fountain, twinkling lights attached to all the poles._

 _"I did the best I could in thirty minutes." He said sheepishly. "Sorry it's not stellar."_

 _And then her eyes widened when he bent down on one knee in front of her, her heart racing uncontrollably fast._

 _"Oh my God…"_

 _Lucas' expression grew wholly serious._

 _"Maya Penelope Hart. You make me happier than I've ever been in my entire life. I know you think I'm a son of a bitch and you're the biggest pain in my ass sometimes and I know sometimes you hate me, but I love you. I don't want to spend the rest of my life with anyone other than you. I always want to come home to you. I want to grow old together. I want you in my life forever."_

 _Maya whimpered, her lip trembling, and she brought her hands to her mouth as he pulled out a velvet box, opening it to a beautiful sapphire stone flanked by diamonds and attached to a gold band._

 _"I know I'm not perfect. And I know I don't deserve you. And I know I'm being selfish by leaving you here by yourself." He watched her earnestly, his eyes shining in warmth and affection. "But I'm crazy about you, baby. Will you do me the honour of spending the rest of your life with me? Will you marry me?"_

 _"Do you even have to ask, you dumbass?" she said, her voice cracking as tears blurred her vision and rolled down her cheeks. "Yes!"_

 _He smiled then, his whole face lighting up in relief and pure happiness, and he took her left hand, slipping the ring on her finger. She catapulted herself onto him, wrapping her arms around him as he stood up, holding her and spinning them around with a gleeful laugh. When he set her down, she rose up to her toes, meeting his lips in a soft, gentle kiss that set her heart on fire and brought a whole new round of tears cascading down her face._

 _They remained like that, amidst the applause from night strollers who had witnessed the proposal, their arms clutching each other, bodies pressed together as warm tears dropped from their eyes._

 _"I love you." She said in between kisses, her voice distorted by her sniffles. "So so much."_

 _"I love you too."_

 _She never wanted to forget this moment._

 _"Forever?"_

 _He pulled her closer, cradling her face in his hands as he leaned his forehead against hers._

 _"Forever."_

* * *

Maya stared blankly up at the ceiling, body aching and back completely sore as she reclined in the hot water in the bathtub.

 _Lucas…_

Was this life even worth it?

Was it even worth living another second of this miserable life?

A life without Lucas.

 _No._

It wasn't worth it.

She slid down slowly into the water, eyes open as it slowly rose up her face, past her nose and covered her. She laid down, completely submerged in the water, her eyes stinging from the heat, but it didn't matter.

Nothing mattered.

Not anymore.

"Maya I brought some bubble—"

And then Riley gasped, horrified, and dropped everything in her hands, rushing to the bathtub and yanking Maya up from underneath the water. Maya coughed and sputtered, rasping for breath as her head lolled to the side, and she stared miserably at Riley.

"Maya _no_! Don't you dare! How could you even consider doing that?!" Riley shouted at her, gripping her shoulders as tears fell down her eyes.

"Let me go…"

"Maya stop! Maya _look_ at me!" Riley's voice quivered, and she sank down to her knees beside the bathtub, holding Maya's face in her hands. "You can't do this to yourself, okay? I know you miss him! I know you want him back. We _all_ do, but you cannot do this to yourself!"

"Riley let me go…" Maya said quietly. "I don't want to live…"

"But Lucas would have wanted you to live! He would want you to live for _him_! He would want you to live for him _and_ your son! Did you forget? You're carrying his child in you! Are you really going to kill you both?"

"I wasn't…"

And then Maya's eyes widened, and she stared down at her large, swollen abdomen.

She was pregnant.

She had almost completely forgotten that she was pregnant.

"Our child…" Her lip trembled as tears pooled in her eyes.

"Yes Maya!" Riley said emphatically, "You're carrying his child! You're due in a couple weeks! You can't do this to yourself. _Please_ don't do this to yourself! You need to remember what he would have wanted for you! He would want you to live! Live for him!"

"I just…" Maya whimpered, her voice breaking as tears dropped down her cheeks. "I just wanted to see him Riley…"

Riley sniffled, a soft sob escaping her lips. "I know you do…"

"I want to see him…"

And Maya broke down into choked, ragged cries, falling into Riley's shoulder, as her body shook with sobs. She gripped Riley's dress, weeping miserably for the first time since she'd gotten the news.

"I just wanted to see him!" she screamed, tears cascading from her eyes, "I want to see him Riley!"

Riley started sobbing, wrapping her arms around Maya, cradling her head to her shoulder, rocking her back and forth as Maya wailed, her anguished cries echoing through the bathroom.

"Why?! _Why_?!"

 _Why did you have to die?!_

* * *

 _"Why the hell are you so adamant in going back?!" Maya screamed, not even caring that her nose was running._

 _"Maya, I have a duty to my nation!" Lucas shouted back, "I have to go back!"_

 _"Lucas, what if you die?!"_

 _"I can die doing literally anything!"_

 _"You were shot in the chest!" she cried. "I had to wait in that damn hospital for ages, thinking you weren't going to wake up and it scared the shit out of me!"_

 _"I_ survived _." He repeated for the umpteenth time. "I was on temporary medical discharge and now that I'm healed, I'm going back. Goddamn, why can't you understand that?!"_

 _"You know what? Fuck you!" she shrieked, picking up the remote and hurling it at him as hard as she could. He avoided it quickly and it crashed against the wall, part of it breaking off. "You want to go back?! See if I care! We're_ through _!"_

 _"Maya, stop being stubborn and listen to me!"_

 _"No! You stupid,_ stupid _fucking son of a bitch!" She screeched, picking up the center piece of her coffee table, rearing her arm back and throwing that at him too. "Get the hell out of my apartment!"_

 _"Maya!"_

 _Maya snatched up the vase of flowers on the table, and Lucas' frown deepened. He took quick steps to her, ripping it out of her hands and setting it back on the table before she could shatter it. He caught her wrists before her fist connected with any part of him._

 _"Maya stop!"_

 _"Let go of me!" she hollered, tugging her hands sharply to get out of his grip. "I never want to see you again!"_

 _"Maya, listen to me, please." He said, his gaze earnest._

 _"No! I told you we're through." A sob escaped her lips, weakening the force of her words. "Go away…"_

 _He was silent for a spell, watching her with affection as she trembled from her sobs. She hated it. She hated how he could read her heart so easily and make her lose control of her emotions so easily. She hated him!_

 _"…Do you really want me to go?" He asked softly, "Do you want me to walk out of your life?"_

 _"I want you here with me, you dumbass…" She whimpered, biting her lip and averting her gaze._

 _He let go of her wrists, taking her face in his hands._

 _"Maya."_

 _She sniffled, but said nothing, her body shuddering slightly from her sobs._

 _"You knew I would have to go back eventually. Why are you fighting it now?"_

 _"Because I don't want to lose you, okay?!" she snapped, roughly wiping her eyes. "Because I love you! I hate you so much and I can't stand you and I hate the way you make me feel so out of control, but I love you!"_

 _And his eyebrows rose a bit in surprise at her words. Hell, she was surprised herself. It was the first time she'd ever said those words to anyone she had been with. The first time she'd ever felt love so all-encompassing it threatened to swell her heart until it burst through her chest._

 _"I've lost everything in my life. Most everyone I've ever loved has left me… If I lost you…"_

 _If she lost him, it would_ wreck _her._

 _His eyes softened, and he leaned down, kissing her slowly, so painstakingly slowly and heartwrenching that Maya's heart faltered and she whimpered into his mouth._

 _"I love you too, Maya. But I'm going back."_

 _"Don't do that." she said, eyes shining with fresh tears, "Don't tell me you love me and then tell me you're going."_

 _"I love you." He repeated._

 _"Stop…" her voice quivered._

 _"I love you, Maya. So much."_

 _"I said stop…"_

 _She sniffled, tears trailing down her face as he kissed her forehead and then her eyelids and then her cheeks and her nose and the corners of her mouth and then her mouth._

 _And he kissed her and kissed her and kissed her until she finally relented with a soft cry and kissed him back._

 _He picked her up, and she wrapped her legs around his waist as he carried her away._

* * *

Maya unlocked her apartment and trudged in slowly, looking around the place in slight trepidation. It'd been a while since she had been back. The boxes for the baby room were still neatly arranged in part of the kitchen, untouched and having collected a thin film of dust. The incomplete drawings of Lucas were still there. And the broken shards of glass and the remains of the vase were still littering the carpet.

She walked past the living room, her hand trailing over the dent on the wall from the remote control that time they'd had a pretty big fight.

She walked through the hallway and to her bedroom in the back, every step closer to the room tightening the grip her pain had in her chest.

She walked into the room and to his closet, untouched and kept closed since that horrible day.

With a deep breath, she opened it, staring at his suits and dress shirts hung up neatly. Shoes aligned properly on the floor. The small dresser with his pants. The belts hanging from the hanger. A few hats on the top.

A wave of his scent washed over her and her heart lurched, eyes pooling with tears as she stared at his clothes. She pulled out a shirt with trembling hands, bringing it to her nose and inhaling deeply.

It smelled like him.

It still smelled like him.

Warm and sweet with a hint of musk and his favourite aftershave.

With a harsh sob, she sank to her knees on the floor in front of the closet, gripping the shirt and holding it to her chest.

And she wept.

"We were supposed to raise a family together, you ass…" she whispered, her voice shaking, "Why did you leave me... I need you…"

She cried and she cried and she cried, still crying when Riley found her hours later in the same spot, clutching several of his shirts to her.

Riley curled up next to Maya, holding her to her chest as harsh, convulsive shudders passed through her body as she wailed.

* * *

 _"I swear, next time I won't take you to a two star restaurant." Lucas said nervously, scratching the back of his head with a chuckle._

 _"You're an idiot." Maya snapped, crossing her arms in front of her chest and walking faster._

 _He walked faster too, easily matching her brisk pace. She hated how much taller he was than her. She couldn't even escape him because he could easily catch her._

 _He winced. "I'm not really used to taking people out on dates. Haven't gone on too many of those."_

 _"Yeah, I can tell." she grumbled, cutting across the street and entering the park to head back to her apartment. "Thanks for giving me the runs by the way."_

 _He stopped with a sigh and slid his hands into his pocket. "I'm sorry."_

 _She stopped walking too and turned to him with narrowed eyes._

 _"You know? I understand a bad date on the first date, like a damn rodeo show." His cheeks reddened a bit at the reminder. "But ten bad dates spanning two years? I don't even know why I've given you so many chances."_

 _He remained silent, watching her with something like shame in his expression. Maya felt a little bad, but she'd had a difficult enough life as it was. She didn't have time for people in her life who would make things infinitely harder. And he was barely around as it was, since he was on active deployment. Since they'd started dating, it had been majority emails and letters and teleconferences the whole time, which didn't make for a sturdy relationship since Maya needed tangible proof in a relationship. And when he was home, their dates always got messed up. There was always something that happened to make her wish he was back overseas._

 _She honestly didn't know why she kept giving him more and more chances. Was it worth it at all? Yes, he was sweet and sincere and charming. Yes, she loved hanging out with him and talking to him. Yes, he was attractive as hell. Yes, he made her laugh and smile and made her feel happy and frustrated and annoyed after so many years of loneliness and depression. Yes, his kisses set her on fire like nothing else. Yes, sex with him was wild and passionate and heavenly._

 _(She still remembered the first time they'd slept together. It had been intense and crazy and left Maya dizzy for almost a week afterward)._

 _But she didn't know if this was worth it. She honestly didn't know if she could be in it for the long game._

 _It was hard being with him. Every time she settled into her rhythm, finally found a way to live her life without being too affected by the fact that the guy she was dating was across the ocean, he was back and things would get rattled again. She would get that much more attached to him. And she would struggle to find a rhythm when he left._

 _She needed something more substantial. She needed someone who could be there with her._

 _She hated to do this, but she felt she'd wasted enough of her time._

 _"Lucas…" she sighed, running her hand through her hair and feeling her heart tugging painfully as she stared up into those gorgeous, gentle green eyes. "I think maybe we should call it."_

 _His eyes widened in surprise for a moment._

 _"Wait. I can make it up to you."_

 _"That's what you say after every date. After every screw up." Maya shook her head. "I've given you more chances than I've ever given anyone I've known for years. But no more. I'm done."_

 _He took her hand with a smile, completely disregarding her words. "No. This time I really can make it up to you. Right now."_

 _She groaned in annoyance, but let him tug her across the mini bridge into an open area of the park with a fountain. There was a man playing a romantic song on a violin, some other couples cuddled up on benches, just enjoying each other's company. He stopped in the middle of the area, and Maya rolled her eyes._

 _"Well? I'm waiting."_

 _"Just a sec."_

 _Lucas walked over to a vendor selling roses and bought one before walking back over to her with a smile._

 _He bowed to her a little playfully before presenting her with the rose._

 _"May I have this dance?"_

 _And her heart began to race. This had always been one of her secret fantasies. To dance in the park with someone on a moonlit night. Her eyebrows rose a bit in surprise, but she nodded, a little stupefied, a little mesmerized. He straightened and tucked the thornless rose behind her ear before taking her hand and wrapping his arm around the small of her back, pulling her gently to him._

 _He guided her in a slow dance, twirling her gently in time to the soft sounds of the violin. He kept his eyes on hers, warm and expressive and holding something that reminded Maya why she kept coming right back to him. Why she hadn't ended things long ago. How did he always manage to surprise her? Maya felt her pulse quicken as tingles spread down her back and to her legs and through her body._

 _When the song ended, Maya was a little short of breath, gazing up at him with half lidded eyes. Lucas leaned down and pressed his lips to hers, igniting a wonderful fire in her that quickly spread throughout her limbs._

 _"Alright…" Maya sighed breathlessly, her cheeks flushed. "You've made it up to me."_

 _He grinned, "So do I get another chance?"_

 _Maya rolled her eyes, but nodded, trying to keep the smile off her face and knowing she was failing miserably. What was it about this idiot that kept making her come back to him?_

 _"In that case, since we've been dating for this long, can we make it official? Can I call you my girlfriend?"_

 _Again, a thought flittered through her mind._

 _Was it really worth it? If she said yes, she'd be opening up several doorways for pain and possible disappointment. But as she gazed up at him, saw the warmth and care in his eyes, she found those thoughts disappearing._

 _She really did want to take this chance._

 _She really liked him._

 _She wanted to see where this would go._

 _"Yeah. Let's make it official."_

 _He smiled happily and pulled her closer to him, capturing her lips in a soft kiss._

* * *

Maya knocked on the door of Lilith Friar's apartment, eyes downcast and staring at the welcome mat. She heard feet padding softly over to the door before it opened.

"Maya." She sounded entirely surprised. "You're here."

"I got your voicemail." She said, "And I wanted to thank you for being patient with me."

"Come inside." Lilith said, gently taking Maya's hand in hers and walking with her to the kitchen.

The living room was full of large boxes, some packed completely and taped up, others still empty. It was cluttered and looked like a mess. The kitchen counter was no better. There were pictures and photo albums scattered all over the place atop the counter. Photographs of a young Lucas growing up, each picture general milestones of his life. Young Lucas holding a tooth, Lucas in his high school graduation robes, laughing with some friends. Lucas saluting in his official army service uniform.

Maya snapped her gaze away.

"Sorry about the mess." Lilith sniffled, scooping up the pictures and setting them back into a shoe box. "I was just going through some old stuff."

"You're giving it away?" Maya stared at the living room where she could see Lucas' old clothes and some stuff that looked like he'd used in his adolescence. There was a signed football, a pile of comic books, an old baseball jersey.

Lilith nodded. "It's what he would have wanted."

"Yeah…" Maya whispered, knowing she would probably do the same eventually. "He would have…"

Lilith stared at her for a second before nodding.

"Let me go get what I called you here for."

She left momentarily, walking towards the back and Maya rubbed her arms, trying to get rid of the goosebumps. There was a kick in her abdomen, and she gently rested her hand on it, feeling that familiar tightening in her throat start to rise again.

Lilith came back out and in her hand was the folded American flag from the funeral. She placed it in Maya's hands, who took it in alarm.

"Why are you—"

"Maya, you held his heart." She smiled at her, daintily wiping away a falling tear. "The one who should hold onto this is you. You and your son. Not me."

"I-I can't…" Maya's voice broke, her lip trembling as she shook her head rapidly and pushed it back to Lilith. "I-I don't want it."

"Maya take it." Lilith said firmly, eyes watering as she pushed it into Maya's chest, "You are the rightful owner."

Maya whimpered, taking in a deep shuddering breath and biting her lip.

"When they came to my home, they told me his last words." Lilith continued. And Maya closed her eyes, her heart twisting painfully in her chest. "He said he loved you Maya. Forever. And he wanted you to have this."

Maya stared down at the table as Lilith slid across the table a cowboy hat keychain. It was scuffed and a little battered. A lot of the paint had come off and part of the metal was chipped. It was the very same keychain Maya had sent him as a joke gift when he'd first been deployed.

"He wanted you to keep it with you and remember him. But to let him go so you could move on with your life."

Maya shuddered as a sob ran through her body, tears spilling from her eyes as she stared at it.

"He's really gone…" Maya said quietly, her voice choked and broken, "Lucas is gone."

She broke down, her shaking hand covering her mouth as wretched cries escaped her mouth. Sniffling harshly, Lilith walked over to Maya, pulling her into her arms as they cried miserable, heartbroken tears together.

* * *

 _"I'm going Bonnie!" Maya shouted out as she raced out of Nighthawk Diner's back door while tugging on her jacket. She checked her watch. It was a half hour to seven. "Shit!"_

 _If she didn't catch the subway as soon as possible, she would miss it and then be late for her final exam._

 _"Dammit!"_

 _She raced through the streets, trying to think of the fastest way to get to the subway and which route would get her to campus the fastest. She cut a bunch of corners, taking alleys she knew would help her reach the stairs of the station the fastest and then smiled when she saw it across the street. She'd gotten to it in less than five minutes. She might still be in good shape._

 _Maya immediately set off on a run to cross the street, her eyes only on the station entrance and mind wondering if maybe she should just hop the bar and get on the subway without paying because she really didn't have time to waste and if she took too long, she'd really be entirely late and she couldn't have that because—_

 _"Watch out!"_

 _And then Maya's arm was pulled, and she was yanked roughly backwards. She stumbled back into a hard chest with an oof! just as a honking car whizzed past her. Her eyes went wide in shock._

 _"You don't want to get run over, do you?" A voice said behind her, sounding very concerned. "Pay attention to the road!"_

 _She shivered in surprise, her breathing gone fast._

 _Holy shit._

 _She'd almost died just then._

 _He'd saved her life._

 _With a thick swallow, Maya pulled out of his grasp and spun around to thank the person. When she saw who it was, her eyebrows lifted in complete surprise. Recognition lit up on his face as well._

 _"You…" Maya said a little in shock, "Lucas."_

 _He smiled happily, laughing a little merrily as he gave her a hug. "Well what are the chances. We meet again, Maya Hart."_

 _She certainly hadn't expected a hug. Hell, they didn't even know each other. Her cheeks burned with a small blush, and she pushed away from him quickly, her heart rate jumping when she caught the scent of his aftershave._

 _"Ah, sorry." He scratched the back of his head, his sea-foam eyes shining with mirth. "Didn't mean to get carried away."_

 _"It's… It's alright." She finally responded, trying to keep a stutter from coming to her voice as she stared at him. He was wearing a suit and tie that fit him like a glove, looking all kinds of sexy. Shit, she had forgotten how gorgeous he was. "Where's uh… Where are your fatigues?"_

Really Maya?! What kind of stupid fucking question is that?!

 _He smiled a little in amusement, one of his brows rising the slightest bit. "I'm going to dinner with my mother."_

 _"Oh."_

 _"Yeah."_

 _They both fell silent, just watching the other. It was a little awkward to be honest, only because her mind kept replaying what she had said to him when she'd met him. He slipped his hands in his pockets, rocking a bit on the balls of his feet. She felt jittery and nervous and rubbed the back of her neck._

 _"You know—"_

 _"Hey, I'm—"_

 _They both stopped talking at the same time and then Maya blushed and Lucas chuckled in amusement at how ridiculous it was that they'd both started speaking at the same time._

 _They quieted again, remaining silent until Maya finally rolled her eyes in exasperation._

 _"Look, I wanted to apologize for what I said. I shouldn't have said that. Hell, I shouldn't have said anything. You're doing your duty. And I know it comes down to morality. I just…"_

 _"No it's fine." He waved off the apology with a smile. "I like that you speak your mind no matter what. That's not something you see too often these days. It's refreshing."_

 _"Still… I had no right to say those words to you. Or your friends."_

 _"Well… You_ could _make it up to me I suppose." His lips were curved up into a shit-eating grin._

 _Maya's eyes narrowed. "How so?"_

 _"Go on a date with me. Tomorrow."_

 _A date on a Wednesday? That was almost as bad as putting a date on a Monday morning._

 _"Why tomorrow?" she asked, her face twisted in something like incredulity._

 _"I'm being deployed on Thursday."_

 _Her eyes widened the slightest bit. "Oh."_

 _Why did she always have to make the conversation so awkward?_

 _"So what do you say?"_

 _Well, she really didn't have anything better to do aside from work. And if she told Bonnie she had a date and was going to miss work, the older woman would almost certainly give her the time off just because she hadn't taken a single day off since she'd started working there years ago._

 _"Okay…"_

 _Lucas smiled playfully. "Just okay? Can I at least get your number?"_

 _"I, uh… I guess."_

 _He pumped his fist in the air. "Yes! I got a pretty girl's number."_

 _Maya scoffed and rolled her eyes, though a smile came to her face, and she couldn't help but laugh at his enthusiasm._

 _"You're an idiot…"_

 _By the time she left to catch her subway, and he left in his taxi, she had his number programmed on her phone and his gorgeous eyes programmed in her heart._

* * *

Maya stared at the marble headstone in front of her eyes, an identical one to the numerous others lined up in rows around her. There were some white flowers arranged in front of it on the ground.

 _Lucas Friar_  
 _US Army_  
 _Afghanistan_  
 _October 11 1982_  
 _March 23 2011_  
 _Loving Husband_  
 _Father and Son_

She frowned as she stared at the inscription engraved in the marble.

"You're an asshole."

She glared at the stone, her teeth grit and fists clenched tight to the point that her nails were digging into the skin, close to drawing blood.

"You promised me we would start a family _together_. You promised me we would grow old together! And you left me." Her hands started shaking as every word grew louder and louder as she spoke. "Every day I think I'm getting better just hurts all the more. There are some days I can't even get out of bed! I don't think I'll ever be okay and this is all your fault you _asshole_! I hate you!"

Her words echoed around the cemetery, and some birds near the tree scattered from the sheer volume of her voice. And then she whimpered, sniffling and closing her eyes in misery.

"But I _love_ you. I love you so much. I love you more than anything. And I always will Lucas."

She reached up and took the cowboy hat off of her head, the cowboy hat from the rodeo he took her to on that terrible first date six years ago.

She remembered the way he had apologized when some guy vomited his beer all down her back.

She remembered their other dates, trying to make things work despite the distance.

She remembered slowly falling deeper and deeper in love with his humor and his kind heart and loving words and his wonderful soul.

She remembered her heartbreak when she'd gotten news of him being in surgery to remove a bullet that had wedged itself near his heart.

She remembered wanting to be selfish, fighting to have him to herself.

She remembered the night they spent cuddled up in each other's arms, Maya clutching him like a lifeline, terrified of losing him because she finally recognized the danger, the fact that this was real. That he could be taken away from her without remorse.

She remembered his proposal in the park, the way her heart had soared and she had felt like she could do anything in the world as long as she had him by her side.

She remembered the happiness she felt at their wedding, surrounded by close friends and family and making everlasting promises of love to each other.

She remembered the nights they spent, basking in each other's presence, just him and her and the love they had between each other.

She remembered video chatting him, telling him they were having a boy, and watching him cry tears of joy that their dream of a family was coming true.

She remembered the last call they ever had, Lucas excited to come home to her in two weeks, excited to officially start their life together.

She remembered the knock on that terrible day. The looks on the faces of the officers. The bile that rose to her throat before she could contain it.

The way her body shut down when he'd said those dreaded words she had hoped to never hear.

"Goodbye Lucas." She choked, her voice small and weak and lip trembling uncontrollably.

She put the cowboy hat on the headstone, staring at it while her eyes welled with tears.

And then her legs gave out, and she crumbled to her knees on the ground, crying out in heartbreak. She wailed, curled up on the ground, gripping the grass and wishing, hoping, _dreaming_ for just a second that she could just see him once more. That she could see his smile once more.

The smile that she loved so much.

The smile that set her nerves at ease, and lit a fire in her, and brightened her day.

The smile that she cherished more than anything else in the world.

* * *

 _"Order up!" Bonnie shouted, hitting the bell. "Table seventeen!"_

 _Maya growled under her breath but rushed over to grab the food and then hurried on her way to get it to the table._

 _This was the loudest and most rowdy night she'd ever worked at the Nighthawk Diner in her entire time there. She'd been serving a thousand tables all evening, running around filling orders, replenishing drinks, attending to so many damn customers. It was crowded and sweaty and unbelievably fucking loud and bustling with people and waitresses running around everywhere. And it didn't help that they were slightly understaffed. One of the waitresses was on maternity leave and the other had some big exam she was studying for so she took a temporary leave of absence. Bonnie had promised she would find someone to fill the spot soon, but this wild night had fallen upon them before she'd had the chance to and they were catapulted into sudden chaos._

 _It had already been crowded to begin with, but then a bunch of damn soldiers had come in. And now a lot of the diner looked like a sea of green._

 _It was annoying. Especially since a lot of these men took it upon themselves to hit on her for no reason, asking her stupid questions like if she could be their wife so they'd have a pretty face to come home to. This wasn't fucking 1914. Who the hell did they think they were?_

 _Maya hated this job with a passion, but she was on her own. She had been since her mom overdosed when she was in high school and left her with nothing. Her dad had long been out of the picture for almost ten years by that point. Hell, she technically wouldn't have even had this job in the first place because she had no credentials, but Katy had worked there, and Bonnie had felt bad for Maya, so she'd given her a shot. Maya was twenty-two. She'd been working there since she was sixteen. She honestly would have quit ages ago, but she knew she needed it to pay her rent and her tuition._

Three months, Maya. Just three months.

 _As long as she kept telling herself that she only had three months until she got her bachelor's, she'd be okay. In three months, she would graduate from college and could start looking for a real job in studio art._

 _Maya snatched up some plates from an empty table and rushed back through the kitchen doors, dropping the pile of plates in the sink as Ernie rinsed them as fast as he could to put them in the dishwasher._

 _"Thanks, Maya."_

 _"No problem."_

 _She rounded over near where Bonnie was standing in front of the window, reading off orders and plating food for the diners._

 _"Order up! Table nine!" Bonnie shouted and another waitress rushed to pick it up._

 _Maya stood by her, hands on her hips in irritation. Bonnie rose a brow at her._

 _"Shouldn't you be out serving?"_

 _"Why the hell are there so many fucking soldiers here?"_

 _"Beats me. Hey, can you get the check for table three?"_

 _Maya craned her head out of the window and saw green at the table. Another table of soldiers in fatigues._

 _"Hell no."_

 _"Maya c'mon. They won't hit on you."_

 _"Yes they will! I don't want to go there."_

 _"Well that's your price to pay for not being a night troll like me."_

 _Maya glowered at her. "Okay there are so many things wrong with what you just said. So you think just because I'm apparently cute that means I should be harassed by horny men? Plus, you're the best looking woman I know."_

 _Bonnie threw her a look. "The flattery was a nice touch, kid. But you're still going to that table."_

 _"Bonnie." Maya whined, "I don't want to!"_

 _"Maya." She said, giving her a stern look, "I'm ordering you as your manager."_

 _"I hate these soldiers…" Maya grumbled under her breath, turning around and snatching up the black books with the receipts._

 _"Just go." Bonnie laughed, setting another plate with a burger and fries onto the window. "Order up! Table nine!"_

 _She sighed under her breath and walked to table three where four men were chatting, laughing about something one of them had said. She stomped over to them and dropped the black books on the table without a word._

 _"Here. Hurry up and sign the damn receipt and leave your method of payment."_

 _Three of the men looked up at her in surprise, a little taken aback by the vitriol in her words. Not to mention the fact that she had virtually come out of nowhere. The other one didn't react at all, not even turning to see who had basically verbally assaulted them._

 _One of the guys whistled low, staring up at her with a teasing smile. "Damn."_

 _She felt her irritation spike. She swore if any one of these guys said a word to her about being their 'little honey', she would clobber him. What was it about guys that always thought it was okay to hit on the waitress? Was it some sort of twisted wet dream fantasy lingering from their adolescent years?_

 _Another guy rose a brow, grinning in amusement._

 _"Ooooh. Spitfire. You're just my type. Hey, I'm Tyler. And you are?"_

 _"Not interested." She said through grit teeth._

 _"Tyler, leave her alone." Another guy said, signing his receipt. The only one who hadn't turned to her._

 _The guy named Tyler's smile only grew wider._

 _"You're a cutie." he said to Maya, "Now I know I've asked many girls this question, but I think you're the one. How would you like to be my wife?"_

 _The table of guys—minus the one signing his receipt—all erupted into laughter, thinking the joke was so funny. Maya narrowed her eyes. How many of the other waitresses had this guy harassed that evening?_

 _"Why the hell would I ever want to be married to a murderer?" Maya snapped coldly, glaring at them in disgust._

 _The table of guys fell silent, the laughter dying almost immediately at her words. They looked a little surprised, a little put off. Maybe a little uncomfortable._

 _Tyler started chuckling nervously, his smile slipping a bit. "That's a little harsh…"_

 _Did this dumbass think she was flirting with him?_

 _"Am I wrong?" she spat._

 _Tyler and the other two guys stared at her in shock. She figured they were probably not very used to a girl telling them off like that. They turned away from her in silence, all signing their own receipts and leaving their methods of payment._

 _When they had all finished, she snatched the books and stormed back to the register to ring them up. When she was finished, she pushed the books in another waitress', Farah's, hands._

 _"Hey go take these to table three. I'll bus for you."_

 _Farah shrugged and switched with Maya._

 _"Maya…" Bonnie said sternly, "What the hell did you say to them? They look a little slackjawed."_

 _She shrugged as she walked to another table to pick up the plates. "I told them the truth."_

 _Maya went to an empty table with plates and got to work picking up the dishes and stacking them in her bin. Bussing was the absolute worst part of this job, but it sure as hell beat having to go back to their table._

 _As she finished removing the plates and got to work on cleaning up the table, squirting cleaning solution and dragging the rag over it, someone tapped on her shoulder._

 _"Umm, excuse me."_

 _She straightened and turned around in annoyance. And then her eyes went up to a tanned soldier, waiting patiently for her to address him. He was that soldier who had been sitting with the others at the table. The one who'd told Tyler to leave her alone. In surprise, she realized he had the most startling and amazing green eyes she'd ever seen._

Whoa… Tall, dark, and handsome much?

 _"What do you want?" she snapped, crossing her arms in front of her chest. "You here to file a complaint against me? Get in line. You're not the first."_

 _He placed a couple of bills on the table._

 _"Tip." he said simply._

 _She narrowed her eyes. "I didn't serve your table."_

 _"I know, but my momma always taught me to tip everyone who had a part."_

 _She looked at it suspiciously for a second before glancing back up at him._

 _"Why are you tipping me? I was rude to you guys."_

 _"Maybe." He shrugged. "But in a way, there was a bit of truth to your words..."_

 _And her eyebrows lifted slightly when his eyes held a little bit of a heart-wrenching melancholy in them. Something like remorse and shame. And suddenly, Maya felt guilty and a little ashamed of herself._

 _"Your friends are leaving." She finally said, averting her gaze and looking at the ground._

 _He smiled. "Alright."_

 _He started to turn to leave, and she let out an annoyed sigh._

 _"Wait." He paused, and Maya chewed her lower lip, her fists clenched by her sides. "I appreciate the tip. Thank you, uh…"_

 _"Lucas. Lucas Friar."_

 _She nodded. "Thank you Lucas. I'm–"_

 _"Maya."_

 _She frowned in confusion. "How the hell did you know?"_

 _Lucas chuckled softly. "Your name tag."_

 _She looked down, remembering that yes, her name was on her uniform and her cheeks reddened the slightest bit in embarrassment._

 _"Right… I'm Maya. Maya Hart."_

 _"Beautiful name for a beautiful girl." And then he winced. "Sorry. Was that corny?"_

 _"Yes."_

 _But she couldn't help but laugh a bit at the quiet, slightly nervous Southern charm of this guy. He was kind of cute._

 _"But it's okay." She continued, "I've heard worse things today."_

 _He nodded. "I'm sorry to hear that."_

 _They fell silent for a spell, and Maya gazed up at him a bit in confusion, wondering why she felt so jittery and restless all of a sudden._

 _Then he smiled warmly, and her breath hitched in her chest._

 _"Goodbye Maya."_

 _He turned and left the diner, and Maya stared after him, not even able to deny that her heart was racing wildly in her chest._

 _"Goodbye… Lucas..."_

 _She stood there for a while, not sure how long she had been staring at the doors with a far off look on her face until Bonnie's brusque 'Order up!' rattled her out of her daze. She shook her head rapidly and slipped the tip in her bra before snatching up the bin with the silverware and plates and walking back through the kitchen doors to give it to Ernie. When she'd set them aside, Bonnie turned to look at her with a raised eyebrow._

 _"Saw you talking to that hunky, beautiful species of male just now. What'd he say?"_

 _"Nothing…" Her cheeks blossomed in colour. "Just gave me a tip."_

 _"Hmmm… Bummer…" Bonnie said, arranging a sandwich on a plate and cutting up a pickle for it. "I thought he asked you out and you could finally have someone to help loosen you up because you're wound up tighter than the corset on a sixteenth century maiden."_

 _"Bonnie, shut up."_

 _"Think you'll ever see him again?"_

 _"Doubt it…"_

 _But she couldn't deny that part of her wanted to._

* * *

"You're doing great Maya! When you feel the contraction, give me one hard push." Dr. Sanchez encouraged. "I can see the head!"

Maya screamed and cried out, gripping Riley's hand tighter as all-encompassing pain erupted through her abdomen once again. She squeezed her eyes shut tightly and pushed as hard as she could, a strangled whimper escaping her lips as all the muscles in her body tightened painfully.

"Good job Maya! It's just one more hard push, and you'll be done!"

She gasped for breath, crying out as the pain subsided for just a second only to rise up again, stronger than ever.

"It's okay Maya." Lilith crooned next to Riley, wiping Maya's forehead and moving the sweat-dampened strands of blonde hair out of her face. "You've got this. Remember the breathing exercises. Three in, one out."

Maya nodded and took three quick ones in through her nose, letting it out slowly through her mouth as she shuddered in pain.

"Maya, you can do it!" Riley exclaimed, squeezing her hand tightly. "Don't give up!"

"Just one strong push Maya!" Dr. Sanchez said, "One strong push, and it'll all be over."

The pain built up once again, and Maya's breathing faltered as she let out a choked cry, sitting up slightly in the hospital bed, her face contorted in pain. She was trying. She was trying to push but it hurt. It hurt so much. The stinging pain and the unbelievable pressure. Her lower back was on fire. She just wanted the pain to end.

She squeezed her eyes shut.

 _"Maya. Maya look at me."_

And there was Lucas to her right, watching her with his warm, sea-foam coloured eyes, speaking softly. He took her hand, squeezing it comfortingly, his other hand smoothing down her hair before cradling her face.

 _"What's wrong, baby?"_

She couldn't do this.

 _"You can do this Maya. You'll be okay. You just have to push."_

It hurt. Everything hurt. She couldn't do this alone. Not without him.

 _"You're not alone, Maya. I'm right here with you. Forever."_

With a deep shuddering breath, she nodded and then squeezed both their hands, letting out a ragged cry as she pushed as hard as she could, fighting the urge to stop, fighting the urge to give up.

"You're almost there Maya!"

"You can do it, Maya!"

"He's almost out!"

 _Lucas. This is for you._

A sharp sting.

And then she heard it, the strangled cries of a baby. Maya fell back against the bed gasping for breath, her eyes drifting open slowly, and she whimpered happily, shaking a bit as her body slowly loosened up and relaxed. The nurse swaddled him in cloth and handed him to Maya when she reached for him. She held her son, sobbing and crying heavily, her body shuddering from her joyful laughter and her debilitating sadness.

"You did great Maya. Say hello to your new baby boy."

He was beautiful.

She held her wailing baby, crying heavily as Lilith cooed beside her, tears in her eyes and Riley bawled, leaning her head on Maya's shoulder.

"Lucas…" Maya croaked, her tears cascading down her face, "His name is Lucas…"

And it was heartbreaking that he would grow up without his father.

It was heartbreaking that he wouldn't have his father there to watch him say his first words and to take his first steps and to start school.

It was heartbreaking that he wouldn't have a father to play catch with and teach him about life and show him how to be a good man.

But she knew that somehow, no matter how long it took, no matter how many tears were shed, they would be okay.

"I love you, Lucas. Forever."


End file.
